I Met Some girls this Summer...

My kids are at school today. Their backpacks were packed with finished homework, fresh pencils,and full lunchboxes. They were dropped off at schools with full libraries, computers, science labs, and athletic equipment. They have access to music and art and foreign language instruction. They have teachers with Master's Degrees and PhD's. They will be well educated and will benefit from that education for the rest of their lives.

I met some girls this summer...they were lovely girls. They giggled together, told secrets, loved to dance and wanted to fix their hair. I am thinking about those girls right now.They certainly have no backpacks or school supplies. They have no school to go to or teachers to teach them. They are on a path to being uneducated and they will be impacted by that for the rest of their lives.

These girls were in Zambia. I spent 2 weeks there and had the opportunity to pour my life into their lives. All of them have been impacted by poverty and AIDS. Some have been abused and neglected. All of them understand hunger and death. When I heard their stories my heart broke. The adults in their lives have let them down in the most basic ways. Day by day as I fell more in love with my girls I became more and more angry with their caregivers. There is no excuse for beating a child. There is no excuse for allowing a 6 year old to beg in the streets late at night.

I knew when I went that I would love my girls. I knew that God would imprint each of them on my heart. What I didn't expect was what happened to me after I had the opportunity to walk with my girls through their neighborhood. Here I saw the caregivers who were often unkind. I was able to see their lives. I was able to see that they had once been young girls like the ones I was with, but no one had cared to educate them. No one had cared to share Jesus with them. No one had prayed for them and cried out for them and advocated for them.

I wanted to be angry and indignant when suddenly I felt ashamed. The pain and hopelessness was real. I could see it. I could feel it. I could touch it. My girls really have no way of knowing there is hope for a different way of life. Bur I know, and I cannot turn my head. I believe that God has a plan for Cynthia, Rachel, Grace, Florence, Margaret, Abigail. Ireen, Sarah, Carol, Helen, Mary, Nora, Precious, Anna, Melinda, Irene and Charity. I believe he is holding their precious lives in His hands. I will never be the same as a result of meeting them, and I will forever be thankful that I was given the responsibility of being His hands for my girls. Oh how I pray that these hands will steward that responsibility well.

What now?

You've probably seen the picture books that show a photograph of a small portion of an object on one page and you get to try to guess what it is and then on the next page is the whole picture so you can see if you guessed correctly. Well...lately my life has been a little bit like that. Back in April I shared what I thought was the whole picture, when in reality I had it all wrong. That small portion that I was able to see turned out to be a small piece of an entirely different picture. I try not to live my life in "coulda beens" and "shoulda beens", but sometimes that is hard.

In my last post I introduced you to Meredith Meishi. She was our daughter. She passed away the day after that post. So my idea of the "big picture" was way off. My big picture included us bringing her home. My big picture included me holding her and tucking her in at night. My big picture included getting her the healthcare that she needed so badly. My big picture was way off. Frankly I liked my big picture much better than some of what we have had to walk through in the last few months. We have grieved and we have questioned. We have loved and missed a little girl that we never got to meet in person. We are now seeing some glimpses of the real "Big Picture." We are seeing that the life of a little girl in China who only lived 3 years can impact so many. Because of her there will be many other little ones in China who will receive the surgeries that they need to survive and then be adopted. We will see to that. Because of her we have had the opportunity to share our source of Hope with friends, family, acquaintances and even strangers. Because of her we are ready to open our lives again to the possibility of another special child who needs a forever family. That's a tall order for a little 3 year old, but she was up to the challenge. So now as I look at my life, I know that I am seeing just a tiny part of the bigger picture. That is just fine with me. Because I am learning to trust that the bigger picture that I imagine will pale in comparison to the actual one that unfolds. I am not the artist here and thankfully... it is all out of my hands.

At Long Last...

It is no secret to anyone who knows us that we have spent the last 4 years waiting. Oh...don't get me wrong...we have been plenty busy during these 4 years, but in the midst of our busy-ness we have been waiting.



We have celebrated a child graduating from high school and another graduating from college. We have seen one child go from a shy pre-schooler to a confident 2nd grader and we have watched a young swimmer become a district champion. We have added a sassy kitten and a crazy yellow lab puppy. All of this has happened while we were waiting.



Along the way we had moments of frustration, moments of anger, and more than a few moments of despair. We have doubted the process, but we have never once doubted our God who called us to this adoption journey. Our confidence that we were being obedient is what sustained us.



So now...4 years later we will show you the result of our wait, the face that we saw when we knew it was right and we knew that His ways are higher than our ways...we knew that really...it's all out of our hands.

Meredeth Meishi...referral pic.

Ballerina Dreams

I got to share in a part of a dream last Saturday night. Lindsay was dancing at the Winspear Theater in Dallas. It is a beautiful theater. She was dancing Seranade...a beautiful ballet. It was all breathtaking, really.

Like so many little girls. Lindsay started ballet before her 4th birthday. She wore a baggy leotard and had her hair in pigtails. We had a lot to learn about ballet etiquette. What began in that little studio in Vermont grew to something none of us expected. Many of us have things that we enjoy doing. Some would even say we love our activities. For Lindsay we have watched her love of ballet grow to so much more than that.

For her, dancing is as essential as breathing. For her the beauty of ballet is exhilarating and can also bring her to tears. She cannot imagine her life without it. I can't imagine her life apart from it. I drove her to that first ballet class all those years ago where she would discover the gift of dance that God had for her. We really never expected that this would grow from something fun to something she loved to a true passion. I love seeing God's plan for her life unfolding. Because really after I drove her to that first class it was all out of my hands.

Starting Out

The more I run this race called life the more I plot, the more I scheme, the more I plan...I learn that I am a participant in the race, not for my place on the podium. Not for my personal glory, but really only for the glory of One. So as we continue our training we figured we would bring anyone along for the ride that cares to peek in.

I am sure what we share won't always be pretty, or funny, or interesting, but it will always be from the heart. The race we are training for right now has been a test of our patience, our willingness to be obedient, and our desire to be the family we are called to be. This race will be leading us to China for a second time. We covet your prayes as we continue on, because this journey will not be for the faint of heart.

Isaiah 41:10 says, "So do not fear for I am with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hnd." That is good news! We are thankful for hands we can trust, because the truth is..it's all out of my hands.