You've probably seen the picture books that show a photograph of a small portion of an object on one page and you get to try to guess what it is and then on the next page is the whole picture so you can see if you guessed correctly. Well...lately my life has been a little bit like that. Back in April I shared what I thought was the whole picture, when in reality I had it all wrong. That small portion that I was able to see turned out to be a small piece of an entirely different picture. I try not to live my life in "coulda beens" and "shoulda beens", but sometimes that is hard.
In my last post I introduced you to Meredith Meishi. She was our daughter. She passed away the day after that post. So my idea of the "big picture" was way off. My big picture included us bringing her home. My big picture included me holding her and tucking her in at night. My big picture included getting her the healthcare that she needed so badly. My big picture was way off. Frankly I liked my big picture much better than some of what we have had to walk through in the last few months. We have grieved and we have questioned. We have loved and missed a little girl that we never got to meet in person. We are now seeing some glimpses of the real "Big Picture." We are seeing that the life of a little girl in China who only lived 3 years can impact so many. Because of her there will be many other little ones in China who will receive the surgeries that they need to survive and then be adopted. We will see to that. Because of her we have had the opportunity to share our source of Hope with friends, family, acquaintances and even strangers. Because of her we are ready to open our lives again to the possibility of another special child who needs a forever family. That's a tall order for a little 3 year old, but she was up to the challenge. So now as I look at my life, I know that I am seeing just a tiny part of the bigger picture. That is just fine with me. Because I am learning to trust that the bigger picture that I imagine will pale in comparison to the actual one that unfolds. I am not the artist here and thankfully... it is all out of my hands.
